Dear blog, it's me, Alissa.
I have a confession to make. I don't like my day job. Like REALLY don't like it. A little of my soul dies every day when I go into the office and sit there staring at lines of code. A little more of my soul dies in every business meeting I have to sit through . My soul dies from not talking to people, not collaborating and not truly contributing anything, and watching as years and months go by and seeing progress happen at the speed of a glacier. Bitter? Probably. Definitely.
Dear blog, I don't think I am cut out for this.
For I like to smile and laugh. I like to bounce yes BOUNCE and I find my smile from ducking and weaving with a camera in hand and a smile on my face, looking, NAY(!) searching for light and the right angle and the perfect composition. I am creating when scouting for an interesting background or street or field. I am ALIVE when I talk to people and relate to people and have an opportunity to demonstrate my skill and get admiration for the pretty thing I have created. I love the 'cookie', that minute in time when I get to show the wee LCD screen after the shot and see my client's appreciation for the beauty I have captured/created, get the virtual pat on the back, the 'GOOD JOB'. I love the feeling it gives me, pride and joy and excitement. I feel CREATIVE! I feel COMPETENT! I feel CONNECTED! I feel jazzed up, juiced up, in the flow ....
The thrill doesn't end there, oh no ... back in the (digital) dark-room I get to see each image unveiled and my little office evolves into a sort of art gallery. I get so excited that sometimes mid-processing I just HAVE to share a sneak-peek, sometimes even if it means staying up too late or posting images before the whole set is ready. I wait with baited breath for the virtual world's feedback, anxiously clicking 'refresh' until I see the flood of 'likes' or praising comments and THAT'S when I know I did good, that my work means something to someone.
The connection to the universe happens over broadband, because sharing THAT moment in that photograph that I took, that I witnessed first-hand, that I got to be part of, THAT photo of a moment of triumph, or a girl and her horse or a bride and her groom, allows others to share the moment too. I am enabling that connection with the universe. The Aunt in Saskatoon and the cousin in Halifax can witness that moment for themselves and be 'part of'.
And then! The best part! The unveiling! Delivering the portfolio to the client and watching the expression, each click-through, next, next, next, and the flood of appreciation, the little smile, the 'oh wow', the 'oh I like this one too', the 'oh I LOVE this one'. and ultimately the 'OH I am FRAMING this one' (haha the pinnacle of success for a photographer : TO BE PRINTED). (only topped by the inability of the client to choose JUST ONE to get printed … the true evidence that I was able to capture the shots they hoped for)
Being a photographer to me means being about to collaborate with people who share my desire to create, people that are alive, enthusiastic and interesting. Not just clients but other photographers, make-up artists, hair stylists, lighting professionals, event organizers, directors, producers, advertisers ... to name a few ... in a word: artists.
I am photographer. FO-TAH-GRAF-ER. And that is great for my soul.
